


All That You Hold Onto

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Series: Omega Dick Week 2019 [4]
Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Alpha Jason Todd, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Custody Arrangements, First Dates, M/M, Omega Dick Grayson, Reconciliation, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 08:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19373377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: Dick and Jason find a way to work things out for the sake of their son.





	All That You Hold Onto

**Author's Note:**

> Song - Stay by Echos
> 
> Day 4 - Single Parents

_“I wish you’d float above me,_   
_Wrap your arms around me,_   
_Let your love unfold.”_

  
  
Dick had always felt things stronger than others.

Happiness, love, anger or hate, just a single touch was enough to drown him in their embrace, each emotion thrumming in his veins like blood, feeling their presence with every beat of his heart. He held onto them like the air he needed to survive, swallowing them down like bitter medicine, easier to ignore when they weren’t on his mind. Sensitive to emotions, he felt them likes crashing waves, disintegrating in their hold instead of swimming to the surface, never having learned what it meant to let go.

After his fall out with Bruce, after watching Tony Zucco die, Dick had struggled to let go of the darkness growing inside his heart. It was the one thing he couldn’t accept, knowing that if he opened the door to the demons knocking on his doors, he’d never be able to go back to who he used to be. Letting go of Robin meant letting go of his own identity and even though it was the right thing to do, he couldn’t go through with it until his mantle was ripped out of his hands.

Time and again, with his sharp tongue and cunning eyes, Jason exposed Dick’s wounds, forcing him to confront the demons he had locked away, pretending to never hear their whispers, never noticing the way they poisoned his mind. While everyone looked at him with pity, letting him shut the world out, Jason forced him into the light, holding onto his hands as he worked through every emotion.

Dick still felt every emotion tenfold. They still crashed down on him like waves and sometimes, he didn’t feel strong enough to fight them off. But when he was with Jason, he learned what it meant to let go, what it meant to be free of the weight that he had carried every day since his parents passed away. Jason was the wind under his wings and after losing him, Dick had never made the attempt to fly again. Despite the pain and the loneliness, at least he had Thomas. He would always have Thomas.

But as Dick stood in his son’s room, staring at his mate with his pale skin, unkempt hair and the dark circles under his eyes, he realized that the Alpha had no one.

Even when he used to work with Bruce, Dick had found friends in the sidekicks of other vigilantes. He had people like Donna who remained in his life even when he felt like he had lost his way. But for Jason, he never had anyone he could call his own. There were days when he would hang out with the Titans but apart from Dick, was there anyone the young Alpha could call his friend?

After his resurrection, cut off from the only family he had left, was there anyone who Jason could even turn to?

Maybe it was a way to payback Jason for everything he had done for him. Maybe it was because Dick just wanted to give Thomas a chance to know his father. He didn’t really know.

“If you want to see him, you should visit when he’s awake,” Dick found himself saying, holding back a breath as he waited for Jason to respond.

The Alpha stared at him with wide eyes, fingers twitching on his side, panic twisting his face. From the way he reacted, Dick was preparing himself for the rejection that was about to come. Jason would run again, hide until he was ready to face the world and Thomas would be left to wonder why his beloved father had stopped visiting him in his dreams. But as Jason licked his dry lips, his head moved to nod quickly, agreeing before he could change his mind.

“Yeah,” he spoke, voice hoarse, trembling slightly as if he was holding back tears. “Yeah, I’d like that.”  


 

_“Show up in my city,_   
_I won’t tell nobody,_   
_That you’re feeling cold.”_

  
  
  
Running his hands over his clothes, Dick stared at his reflection in the mirror, eyeing the way his hair curled, fretting if the marks on his skin were too visible or if it was the lighting in his room that made him see things that weren’t there. Suddenly, he felt like a teenager getting ready for his first date, going over the things he could say, topics that would make his partner happy. For someone who was usually confident in his ability to make a good first impression, Dick didn’t really know how to deal with the nervousness that coiled in the pit of his stomach. 

It wasn’t like he was going on a date with someone who didn’t know him. He was just going out for dinner with Jason. It was just Jason. _It was Jason_. Maybe that itself was reason enough to be nervous. After spending so much time apart, missing one another, holding onto the frayed threads of a relationship they put to end with their decisions, they had finally found the patience to be around one another, to talk things through instead of running away from overwhelming emotions. Trained by Batman, it was always their first instinct to repress their feelings but that had proven to be ineffective.

With Jason working hard to become a part of Thomas’s life, to know his son and catch up on all the things that he had missed out, Dick had to get used to seeing the Alpha around. In the beginning, it had been difficult because since Thomas had been born, he had only one parent to look after him and fill his cup with love. Now that Jason was back, his presence was meant to make things easier but Dick didn’t know how to share the burden of responsibilities he had carried on his own.

Thomas had been ecstatic because now he had two people to love him, to spoil him rotten and to hold him. He finally had the father he only knew from the stories that everyone shared, now having the chance to touch him and feel his warmth. While it took him a little bit of time to open up to Jason, once he let his father in, Thomas never wanted to let go of him. It broke Dick’s heart to see the tears in his son’s eyes when he had to say goodbye to one parent to stay with the other. And it was those tears that finally led to Jason reaching out to Dick.

Their conversation hadn’t been an easy one. What started as a few sentences exchanged to break the awkward silence turned into screams, fingers pointed and accusations thrown, anger overflowing. Tears were shed, apologies whispered through broken voices, every regret finally translated into words and they were left to wonder how to move forward. Was their relationship so broken that they couldn’t find a way to start again? Was it just better for them to be friends because the fallout from a second try could hurt Thomas?

There was too much to consider, too much at risk and Dick was ready to let go of everything he wanted because his son’s happiness was more important. Surprisingly, it was Jason who wanted more, who wanted another chance to be with his family, with his son and his mate, to do right by them. But Dick wasn’t sure. How could he say yes when the memory of the Alpha running away was still so fresh in his mind?

They parted ways with Jason promising that he could fix things and even though Dick smiled and nodded, a part of him didn’t want to believe the Alpha. It was easier to wait for disappointment then to put his hopes in something that wouldn’t work out.

But Jason proved him wrong.

Instead of making false promises, he made an effort to change, to manage the side effects of the pit. He refused to let his anger control his actions. While he still patrolled Gotham as Red Hood, he made a conscious effort to not kill unless absolutely necessary because it was important for him to be a part of Thomas’s life. While he still disliked Bruce and avoided Batman, he had learned to work alongside Tim, slowly getting to know his replacement and allowing the younger to be a part of his life. Thanks to Alfred, Jason was also now seeing a therapist once every week.

He was doing everything he could to be a good parent to Thomas so when Jason finally asked him out, Dick found himself saying yes.

“Damn, Dickie, you’re fretting like a virgin on her wedding night.” Donna grinned, leaning against the doorframe.

“Haha. You’re a riot, Donna Troy. Tell me, how’s your crush on Kori working out?” Dick asked, watching with triumph as the smile slipped from his friend’s face.

“Don’t make me throw you out the window and see if you can actually fly, Wonder Bread.”

“Threaten me more and maybe, one day I’ll take you seriously.”

Turning away from the mirror, Dick looked at Donna who was eyeing him critically, humming as she took in his appearance. “Not bad for a first date,” she finally said, giving his outfit her approval and a part of Dick sighed with relief. As long as Donna thought he looked good, he didn’t have anything to worry about.

Stepping forward, Donna ran her fingers through his hair, messing up the way they were styled while the room filled with her scent, calming down his nerves. “Nervous?” she asked with an amused smile.

“A bit,” Dick answered, not wanting to admit that his heart was beating so fast that he was afraid it would just pop out of his chest.

“You’re going out with Jason,” Donna pointed out and Dick sighed.

“I know. I know it’s just Jason but--”

“Because it’s Jason you want things to go smoothly. You want them to work out.” Donna finished for him.

“For Thomas,” Dick whispered.

“And because you still love him.”

Dick smiled. “I’m a fool aren’t I?”

“No, Dickie.” Donna shook her head, playing around with the collar of his shirt. “There’s nothing wrong with falling in love and there’s nothing wrong with giving something good a second chance.”

“What would I do without you?”

“You wouldn’t have made it past those years you spent with Bruce.”

Dick had just leaned in to hug his friend when the doorbell rang, bringing back those feelings of nervousness that he had forgotten about. Turning to Donna, he was about to remind her about everything she needed to do to take care of Thomas when he was cut off before he could even start.

“This isn’t my first time taking care of Thomas so please, just go and have some fun. The two of us will be just fine,” she assured.

“You sure?”

“I am.” Donna rolled her eyes. “Now go!”

With one last look at his best friend, Dick headed to the main door, taking a deep breath and then two more before he unlocked it. There on the other side stood the Alpha, staring into his phone screen, fingers frozen in his hair as his eyes widened under Dick’s questioning gaze. Quickly, Jason shoved his phone back into his pocket and cleared his throat.

“So, you ready to go?” he asked, pretending that the last few seconds hadn’t happened.

“Yeah,” Dick answered, stepping outside and closing the door behind him. For the first few steps, they walked in utter silence, stealing glances, looking for the right words to say but coming up short. Even though he tried to appear calm, Dick could notice the way Jason’s fingers wouldn’t stop fidgeting, curling into fists, tugging on the edges of his shirt or pushing back his hair.

It was when they were at the elevator that an idea came to mind. “So,” Dick started, catching Jason’s attention. “What’s the brew stitch going to be like tonight?”

Jason blinked, confusion flickering through his eyes before realization dawned on him. “Oh come on!” he groaned, covering his face as the tips of his ears turned red

Laughing freely, Dick realized that he was ready. He was ready to see what the night had in store for him and he was ready to be happy once again.  


  
  
_“It’s so good to be, good to be yours,_  
 _And I’ve got everything that you’d ever want,_  
 _It’s so good to be, good to be yours,_  
 _But I’m so terrified that you’ll leave me in the dark.”_

  
  
  
“So basically, the date went really well but you’re standing here with me because you’re a chicken,” Donna concluded, brows raised because Dick refused to meet her eyes.

After spending the night at a circus that had stopped by in Gotham, remembering Haly’s and reliving those beloved memories, time spent laughing and teasing one another, Jason and Dick parted ways with a hug and a promise to do something like this again. Dick had really wanted to end the night with a kiss but if Jason wanted to take things slow, he would respect his date’s wishes. Due to their busy schedule, they weren’t able to meet up after that, keeping in touch through constant texts and daily phone calls that were usually hijacked by Thomas.

Even though Dick missed seeing Jason, a part of him was glad for the time away because there was something that he had been thinking about for a while, something he hadn’t been sure of. But now, he had made up his mind and called Jason to meet with him in the park for a while before he took Thomas away for the day.

“It’s not that easy,” Dick said, sighing as he watched Thomas laugh as Jason carried him around on his shoulders.

“It can be if you want it to be.” Donna shoved Dick forward. “Go and talk to him while my cute nephew and I go get ice cream.”

“You spoil him.”

Donna just grinned before looking away and calling for Thomas who came with Jason in tow. “Hey, bub. You want ice cream?”

“Ice cream!” Thomas exclaimed, eyes lighting up with excitement.

“Let’s go get some while your dads talk, yeah?”

“Okay.” Slipping his hand in Donna’s, the different ice cream flavors on his mind, Thomas didn’t even glance back at his parents as he walked away with his aunt.

“Did you know she lets him have ice cream before bed?” Jason asked, hands shoved into his jeans pocket as he watched Donna leave with his son.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Dick sighed because he did not know that. No wonder Thomas liked his aunt Donna the best out of everyone, sometimes more than his own parents. “I’ll… I’ll talk to her.”

“Like that’ll make a difference, bro.” Jason rolled his eyes, body stiffening when he realized what he had said.

“Whatever you say, _bro.”_ Dick teased, watching as the Alpha’s cheeks turned red. 

“I’m trying to grow out of it, okay? It’s just hard,” Jason complained, lips pulling into a pout.

“You don’t have to change that part of you, Jay. Calling people bro or dude doesn’t define how mature you are.” Dick always found it sweet and a bit amusing to see how hard Jason tried to seem older than he was, changing the way he talked and walked. But sometimes, when he was comfortable, he would slip back into old habits.

“I know that.” The younger man rolled his eyes. “It’s just that I don’t want Thomas to start imitating me. Can you even imagine how weird it would be if a five-year-old started running around calling everyone dude?”

Dick couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of his son calling him bro instead of papa in that childish voice of his. “I see your point,” he said and Jason smiled at them.

Both of them watched as Thomas put his finger against his chin, thinking hard about which ice cream he wanted. Never in a million years could either of them have imagined that a child as adorable and precious as Thomas would be theirs.

“So,” Jason started, eyes shifting to Dick as his smile turned nervous. “You wanted to talk?”

Clearing his throat, Dick nodded. “Despite everything that’s happened, you’ve been amazing with Thomas. He’s the happiest when you’re around and that’s how I want to always see him, you know? Being a single parent is difficult but you… you make things easier. I just… I’m thinking of giving you custody over Thomas.”

“… What… like a—like a--” Jason tried to finish the sentence, the words sitting on the tip of his tongue but never coming out of his mouth because it seemed too good to be true.

“Joint custody, yeah.” Dick finished for him, his heart aching because even though Jason tried to blink the tears away, some of them managed to slip from his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, he nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice so small that Dick found himself taking a step towards the younger man, not just to comfort him but also hide his tears from Thomas.

“You deserve this, Jay,” he whispered and Jason smiled weakly, his fingers intertwining with Dick’s.

“You know, Thomas isn’t the happiest when I’m around,” Jason whispered, green eyes staring into Dick’s. “He’s the happiest when we’re both there, when all three of us are together as a family.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s true.” Dick nodded with a smile. “I really… I really want things between us to work, Jay.”

“I do too,” Jason said, squeezing the older man’s hand. “I’ve made my fair share of mistakes in the past and I accept that. I just… I never want to lose you or Thomas ever again. You two are the most important people to me. I hope you know that.”

Throat closing up, Dick could only nod as he leaned into Jason, letting the Alpha surround him with his warmth and his scent. Here in his mate’s arms, he felt at home, at peace and Dick never wanted to lose that feeling ever again. He wanted to be in a place where he could be happy with his son and Jason, a place where they never had to be apart again.

It wouldn’t be an easy road, he knew that, after all, nothing in life ever was. But for the first time in years, he wanted to believe that someday, he could truly be happy.

Jason, Thomas and him, they could finally be a family.  


_“Stay.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I know my fic isn't entirely focused on Dick being a single parent u.u Sorry about that. But I wanted to focus more on his relationship with Jason and how he's learning to share Thomas with him. At least this Jason wasn't entirely ooc (Look at me trying to pass off my weak attempts at including modern slang as a blessing >.> )


End file.
